{"id":14032,"date":"2011-04-21T12:48:07","date_gmt":"2011-04-21T17:48:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/?p=14032"},"modified":"2011-04-21T13:41:08","modified_gmt":"2011-04-21T18:41:08","slug":"undefeated","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/blog\/2011\/04\/21\/undefeated\/","title":{"rendered":"Undefeated"},"content":{"rendered":"

Undefeated<\/strong><\/p>\n

Posted on April 14 April 2011<\/p>\n

Three deaf gay North Texans refuse to let what some would see as a<\/em>
\n disability stand in the way of a fulfilling life<\/em><\/p>\n

RICH LOPEZ
\nStaff Writer
\nlopez@ dallasvoice.com<\/p>\n

Noise. There are layers of it every day. The bustle of traffic, dogs
\nbarking, someone stomping down the hall, the whirring of a desk fan and the
\nblare of digital music from computer speakers.<\/p>\n

These can all register with most people all at once \u2014 even if they don\u2019t
\nknow it. For some others, they may be fading aural glimpses \u2014 or nothing at
\nall.<\/p>\n

When deaf culture and gay culture collide, it\u2019s not an unusual thing.
\nAlthough one has nothing to do with the other, there is an interestingly
\nsignificant proportion of gay people who are deaf. The Rainbow Alliance of
\nthe Deaf states that the percentage of the LGBT population is \u201capproximately
\n10 percent of the deaf population.\u201d<\/p>\n

But is there an added pressure to being deaf or hard of hearing and gay?<\/p>\n

Three gentlemen would say no.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe deaf community is a very welcoming one and doesn\u2019t discriminate,\u201d
\nJeffrey Payne says. \u201cIt\u2019s a non-issue.\u201d<\/p>\n

Payne may be most recognizable as the winner of International Mr. Leather in
\n2009 and more recently as a new co-owner of the Dallas Eagle club \u2014 but more
\non him later.<\/p>\n

Born this way<\/p>\n

Speaking of non-issues, Andy Will was born completely deaf 36 years ago. He
\nseems perplexed at times talking about it, because for him it\u2019s a fact of
\nlife. And knowing he was gay at a very young age didn\u2019t hurt Will in
\ndiscovering who he is.<\/p>\n

\u201cI knew I was gay when I was 8,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

For the record, the majority of his quotes here are via Facebook chat and
\ntext messages.<\/p>\n

Will didn\u2019t come out until later, and before doing so he got married and had
\na daughter, Sarah. The gay thing didn\u2019t go over too well with his wife, and
\nthe two were only married for eight months. Will didn\u2019t see Sarah for quite
\nsome time.<\/p>\n

But something in Will is so optimistic about life and what it offers that it
\nwould seem patience paid off for him. Or maybe it\u2019s optimism mistaken for
\nproud parent considering the exclamation he has when talking about his girl.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wanted to be honest to my family and my ex-wife that I\u2019m gay,\u201d he said.
\n\u201cI didn\u2019t see my daughter for 11 years but she came to see me on her 12th
\nbirthday and we\u2019re happily back together. Father and daughter! And she knows
\nand has kindly accepted me as being her gay dad!\u201d<\/p>\n

In the meantime, Will met Joseph and they were together for five years. But
\nJoseph passed away after losing a battle to cancer. Will met Dwane online
\nand then officially at JR.\u2019s Bar & Grill. They are celebrating 10 years
\ntogether.<\/p>\n

Dwane is not deaf.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure how I did that. Life is pretty happy here,\u201d Will said.<\/p>\n

Some of Will\u2019s hobbies may seem unexpected to the hearing population. Once a
\nweek he drives more than 50 miles from his home in Krugerville, north of
\nDenton, to the Oak Lawn Boxing Gym off of Riverfront Boulevard. He\u2019s been
\ntaking lessons from gym owner Travis Glenn for \u201cabout four or five
\nmonths,\u201d and according to the coach, it\u2019s been a learning experience for
\nboth men.<\/p>\n

\u201cMany people have suggested that I just need to learn a few basic American
\nSign Language signs, but that doesn\u2019t work when you have on boxing
\ngloves,\u201d Glenn said. \u201cIt took a few lessons, but Andy and I have found a
\nworking rhythm for his training. When he does something that needs
\nadjustment, I point to him, mimic what he did, and shake my head \u2018no.\u2019 Then
\nI point to myself, do the movement correctly, and shake my head \u2018yes.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure it looks odd to bystanders, but it seems to work for us,\u201d Glenn
\nsaid.<\/p>\n

Will mentions that sometimes they have to work with a pen and pad or that he
\ncan read Glenn\u2019s lips as he speaks, but he\u2019s at the point now where he can
\nalmost tell what Glenn is thinking.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can read his movements and body language but sometimes I can read what he
\nmeans in my mind and get the movement right,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

Out of simple ignorance, people may incorrectly assume that deaf people
\ncan\u2019t do as much as hearing people. But Will has never bought into that.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been playing sports since I was a kid,\u201d he said. \u201cI used to play
\nbasketball and football in school and I currently play on softball and rugby
\nteams. And now boxing.\u201d<\/p>\n

Again, for Will, this is nothing, but he knows what people may think. He
\nisn\u2019t trying to shatter any images. He\u2019s just living his life. But if he
\nchanges someone\u2019s perception along the way, he\u2019s fine with that, too.<\/p>\n

Above all the labels that people could place on Will, he\u2019s shooting for one.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m the proud gay dad of Sarah,\u201d he said, \u201cAnd sometimes I can surprise
\npeople that a deaf person can do the things that I like doing.\u201d<\/p>\n

Normal fears<\/p>\n

Ronnie Fanshier used to be a male dancer. He once was Mr. Texas Leather. Now
\nhe lives a comfortable life in the suburbs and is one step away from being
\ncompletely deaf.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am classified as profoundly deaf,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

He also just turned 50 and isn\u2019t worrying so much about his deafness as much
\nas just accepting the landmark birthday \u2014 like anyone does.<\/p>\n

\u201cFifty is a milestone if you\u2019re gay, straight or whatever. I have mixed
\nfeelings about it, but I appreciate what I\u2019ve learned about life up to this
\npoint,\u201d he said. \u201cI certainly would not want to go back and live all over
\nagain. There would be so many friendships and loves I\u2019d miss out on and
\nthat\u2019s not a chance I would take.\u201d<\/p>\n

For someone who is so close to having 100 percent hearing loss, Fanshier
\ndoesn\u2019t sound like he\u2019s letting that be an albatross. Born with nerve
\ndeafness \u2014 meaning that the nerves transmitting sound to the brain don\u2019t
\nfunction properly \u2014 Fanshier always knew what the ultimate result would be
\nwith his hearing. Acceptance wasn\u2019t so much an issue, but socially, it did
\nhave an impact \u2014 good and bad.<\/p>\n

\u201cLooking back to school, I adapted quite well to most social situations I
\nwas exposed to. I knew I was gay at an early age, but I played the
\nboyfriend\/girlfriend game until I graduated. Back then, if you were even
\nsuspected of being gay, you were pretty much ostracized,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

As a youth, Fanshier seemed to use his deafness as a way to glide by
\nstudents prone to bullying anyone who was gay, although he remembers it with
\nsome delight.<\/p>\n

\u201cBeing hard of hearing\/deaf helped immensely in that respect, since I was
\nalready a little different in an accepted way,\u201d he recalled. \u201cWhat\u2019s funny
\nis I remember some classmates saying I was a \u2018fag\u2019 and other classmates
\nwould say, \u2018No he\u2019s deaf, and that\u2019s why he talks different.\u2019 Isn\u2019t that a
\nhoot?\u201d<\/p>\n

As adulthood came, Fanshier says he kicked the closet door down and hit the
\ngay bars. Everything he had learned socially in school to communicate and
\neven get by worked wonders for him in the community. And he developed his
\nown tricks to party it up on the dance floor.<\/p>\n

\u201cI loved dancing,\u201d he said. \u201cI would turn my hearing aids off and dance to
\nthe beat. If the bass got soft, I would watch others on the dance floor and
\nuse their rhythmic movements to create a sort of metronome to dance to until
\nthe bass got strong again.\u201d<\/p>\n

He loved it so much that he took it to the pedestals. As a college student,
\nhe danced his way through gay bars in Dallas, Houston, Oklahoma City and
\nTulsa. His confidence brimmed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was young, athletic-looking and very personable,\u201d he said. \u201cI would
\nintentionally wear one hearing aid up there on the box and it was a good ice
\nbreaker for tippers. This was another way of making myself more memorable. I
\nwas very social and outgoing and my handicap never stopped me.\u201d<\/p>\n

What Fanshier does instead is own his deafness. He didn\u2019t apply fear to it
\nand instead worried about what he says every gay man probably worries about:
\nHealth, finding Mr. Right (he did), family acceptance \u2014 oh, and one more
\nthing:<\/p>\n

\u201cWill I be able to get the clothes, car and home that any self-respecting
\nqueen should have,\u201d he joked.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s curious about Fanshier is that he never learned sign language. He was
\nactually discouraged by his parents and teachers who feared that society
\nwould single him out. And he\u2019s glad for that.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thank them profusely for that,\u201d he said. \u201cI would not be the person I am
\ntoday if that decision had not been made for me. I should learn ASL, but I
\ntend to have a short-term memory and I probably wouldn\u2019t retain it, and I
\nhave few hard-of-hearing friends to use it with. I also work in a mainstream
\nenvironment, and sign language would have severely limited my job
\noptions.\u201d<\/p>\n

But Franshier\u2019s made it work the way he knows how. He\u2019s built a good life
\nwith a long tenure at the hospital he works for, a house by the lake and his
\npartner of 14 years \u2014 all while taking what may easily be considered a
\ndetriment, and turning it to his advantage.<\/p>\n

The emergence of a voice<\/p>\n

Jeffrey Payne has not been silent about his experience. He told the Voice
\nbefore about discovering his hearing loss at 40 years old and was initially
\ntold he would be completely deaf by Christmas 2010.<\/p>\n

The timeline has been wrong so far, but Payne has taken his visibility in
\nthe Dallas LGBT community and is turning it into increasing the awareness of
\nDallas gay deaf denizens.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve come to know many individuals in Dallas who are hard of hearing and
\nalso gay,\u201d he said. \u201cWhat\u2019s really wonderful about it is that it\u2019s all part
\nof same gay community.\u201d<\/p>\n

Payne himself could be looked upon as the spark that began an increased
\ninterest in Dallas. With such a high profile in the leather community that
\nreached out beyond, people could identify with him in a way perhaps they
\ncouldn\u2019t before.<\/p>\n

\u201cI believe some people saw the need for it when I went from hearing to hard
\nof hearing,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

He\u2019s worked with several local gay organizations in increasing options for
\nhard of hearing, but was ecstatic with the Texas Bear Round Up\u2019s efforts
\nthis past March.<\/p>\n

Organizers looked to Payne for directon on providing an enjoyable experience
\nfor hard-of-hearing and deaf bears attending.<\/p>\n

\u201cWith TBRU, this huge event and largest bear event I believe, they were so
\nproactive reaching out to me and the St. Cyr Fund to ensure interpreters at
\nall functions,\u201d he said. \u201cI was thrilled, to be honest with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Sharon St. Cyr Fund was created by Payne \u2014 and named after his mother
\n\u2014 to assist with purchasing hearing aids for those who can\u2019t afford them and
\nto increase the presence of ASL interpreters at events. Payne has taken his
\nplight and turned it into opportunity \u2014 and doesn\u2019t mind if he\u2019s a little
\nuncomfortable.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust with my story I\u2019ve been given, I\u2019ll talk to anyone on a microphone,
\neven if it is out of my comfort zone,\u201d he said. \u201cASL is really just a
\ndifferent language, but some people get frustrated if they can\u2019t sign.
\n[Hearing] people also want to learn so it\u2019s nice knowing the awareness level
\nis there now. Sign language is a very beautiful language.\u201d<\/p>\n

As for his personal struggle, Payne doesn\u2019t dwell on it. He sounds
\nrepurposed for this new mission in life. He credits his husband, David, and
\nhis family for their support and understanding. He\u2019s intent on not just
\ndealing with deafness, but making the most of it.<\/p>\n

Payne said before winning IML, he was a background kind of guy. That ended
\nwhen his name was announced as the winner, but he was encouraged by his
\npartner not to waste the opportunity he had.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve always been a firm believer that things happen for a reason,\u201d Payne
\nsaid. \u201cI was thrust out of the background with IML and now I can make a
\ndifference.\u201d<\/p>\n

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition April 15, 2011.<\/p>\n

Source: (article, photos and images)<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.dallasvoice.com\/undefeated-2-1072599.html<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Undefeated Posted on April 14 April 2011 Three deaf gay North Texans refuse to let what some would see as a disability stand in the way of a fulfilling life RICH LOPEZ Staff Writer lopez@ dallasvoice.com Noise. There are layers…<\/p>\n

Read more →<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[9004,4621,23,732,7115,35,19,9001,8998,24,833,201,730,1412,1570,153,9002,8999,731,4859,9003,9006,9000,191,733,9005],"class_list":["post-14032","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-deaf-news","tag-andy-will","tag-article","tag-asl","tag-bisexual","tag-body-language","tag-community","tag-dallas-dfw","tag-dallas-eagle-club","tag-dallas-voice","tag-deaf","tag-facebook","tag-family","tag-gay","tag-hard-of-hearing","tag-hearing","tag-hearing-aid","tag-international-mr-leather","tag-jeffrey-payne","tag-lesbian","tag-lgbt","tag-rainbow-alliance-of-the-deaf","tag-rich-lopez","tag-ronnie-fanshier","tag-sign-language","tag-transgender","tag-travis-glenn"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p752R-3Ek","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":38838,"url":"https:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/blog\/2019\/03\/15\/cdi-deaf-and-hearing-interpreters-workshop-in-april-2019-dfw\/","url_meta":{"origin":14032,"position":0},"title":"CDI, Deaf and Hearing Interpreters Workshop in April 2019 – DFW","author":"Grant Laird Jr","date":"March 15, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"DAC Interpreting Presents BEYOND: SYSTEMIC, CULTURAL AND KNOWLEDGE THEORIES: FACTORS WITHIN INTERPRETING TEAMS CDI and working deaf interpreters, sign up for the two-day workshop on April 13 and 14, 9:00 AM - 5:00 PM. Hearing interpreters, you are welcome to sign up for the second day. Fee Processing: We accept\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/blog\/category\/deaf-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/CDI-workshop-2019-792x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":31267,"url":"https:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/blog\/2015\/07\/01\/marthas-vineyard-place-a-deaf-action-center-community\/","url_meta":{"origin":14032,"position":1},"title":"Martha\u2019s Vineyard Place \u2013 A Deaf Action Center Community","author":"Grant Laird Jr","date":"July 1, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Martha\u2019s Vineyard Place \u2013 A Deaf Action Center Community June 2, 2015 Much like the current redevelopment boom in the City of Dallas, the Deaf Action Center (DAC) is going through a renaissance of our own. There has recently been renewed recognition in the validity of Deaf history and its\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/blog\/category\/deaf-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20294,"url":"https:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/blog\/2012\/10\/10\/dallas-area-deaf-advocate-fights-for-communication-services\/","url_meta":{"origin":14032,"position":2},"title":"Dallas-area deaf advocate fights for communication services","author":"Grant Laird Jr","date":"October 10, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Dallas-area deaf advocate fights for communication services Levi Coplen and Heather Bise work with Deaf Action Center colleague Eric Patterson on a video phone in Bise's Dallas office. Bise and other advocates say many facilities aren't following a federal law that requires equal access for the deaf and people who\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/blog\/category\/deaf-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31362,"url":"https:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/blog\/2015\/07\/13\/video-perfect-pitch-tourney-for-deaf-softball-players-held-in-dallas\/","url_meta":{"origin":14032,"position":3},"title":"VIDEO: Perfect Pitch: Tourney for Deaf Softball Players Held in Dallas","author":"Grant Laird Jr","date":"July 13, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Perfect Pitch: Tourney for Deaf Softball Players Held in Dallas Note: See video below July 11, 2015 DALLAS (CBSDFW.COM) \u2013 The crack of the bat, the roar of the crowd \u2013 two sounds Larry Young has never heard. Yet, he explained that doesn\u2019t put him at any disadvantage when out\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/blog\/category\/deaf-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23517,"url":"https:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/blog\/2013\/06\/22\/elizabeth-criswell-dallas-advocate-who-bridged-hearing-and-deaf-worlds-dies-at-75\/","url_meta":{"origin":14032,"position":4},"title":"Elizabeth Criswell, Dallas advocate who bridged hearing and deaf worlds, dies at 75","author":"Grant Laird Jr","date":"June 22, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Elizabeth Criswell, Dallas advocate who bridged hearing and deaf worlds, dies at 75 By JOE SIMNACHER Staff Writer jsimnacher@dallasnews.com June 20, 2013 Elizabeth Myatt Criswell was born to profoundly deaf parents and communicated with her hands before she learned to speak. From childhood she worked to bridge the gap between\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/blog\/category\/deaf-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"dn_logo_thumbnail","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/dn_logo_thumbnail.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":30614,"url":"https:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/blog\/2015\/04\/29\/dallas-isds-deaf-education-program-makes-it-possible-for-hearing-impaired-students-to-thrive\/","url_meta":{"origin":14032,"position":5},"title":"Dallas ISD\u2019s deaf education program makes it possible for hearing-impaired students to thrive","author":"Grant Laird Jr","date":"April 29, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Dallas ISD\u2019s deaf education program makes it possible for hearing-impaired students to thrive By Emily Toman April 24, 2015 Jakkisha Smith can\u2019t hear the ball move up and down the court. She can\u2019t hear it bounce off the backboard and swoosh into the net. She can\u2019t hear her coach shout\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/blog\/category\/deaf-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Jakkisha-Smith-WWHS-Deaf-Ed-DFulgencio-0035","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/Jakkisha-Smith-WWHS-Deaf-Ed-DFulgencio-0035.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14032","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14032"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14032\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14045,"href":"https:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14032\/revisions\/14045"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14032"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14032"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deafnetwork.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14032"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}