POKIN AROUND: A real person, a real death<\/p>\n
Roy Sykes photos Tina and Ron Meier look up at the mausoleum
\ngravesite of their daughter Megan, who would have been 15 on November
\n6th.<\/p>\n
By Steve Pokin <\/p>\n
November 13, 2007<\/p>\n
St. Charles, Missouri<\/p>\n
His name was Josh Evans. He was 16 years old. And he was hot. <\/p>\n
“Mom! Mom! Mom! Look at him!” Tina Meier recalls her daughter saying.<\/p>\n
Josh had contacted Megan Meier through her MySpace page and wanted to
\nbe added as a friend.Yes, he’s cute, Tina Meier told her daughter. “Do
\nyou know who he is?” <\/p>\n
“No, but look at him! He’s hot! Please, please, can I add him?” <\/p>\n
Mom said yes. And for six weeks Megan and Josh – under Tina’s
\nwatchful eye – became acquainted in the virtual world of MySpace. <\/p>\n
Josh said he was born in Florida and recently had moved to O’Fallon.
\nHe was homeschooled. He played the guitar and drums. <\/p>\n
He was from a broken home: “when i was 7 my dad left me and my mom
\nand my older brother and my newborn brother 3 boys god i know poor
\nmom yeah she had such a hard time when we were younger finding work
\nto pay for us after he loeft.” <\/p>\n
As for 13-year-old Megan, of Dardenne Prairie, this is how she
\nexpressed who she was: <\/p>\n
M is for Modern <\/p>\n
E is for Enthusiastic <\/p>\n
G is for Goofy <\/p>\n
A is for Alluring <\/p>\n
N is for Neglected. <\/p>\n
She loved swimming, boating, fishing, dogs, rap music and boys. But
\nher life had not always been easy, her mother says. <\/p>\n
She was heavy and for years had tried to lose weight. She had
\nattention deficit disorder and battled depression. Back in third
\ngrade she had talked about suicide, Tina says, and ever since had
\nseen a therapist. <\/p>\n
But things were going exceptionally well. She had shed 20 pounds,
\ngetting down to 175. She was 5 foot 5\u00bd inches tall. <\/p>\n
She had just started eighth grade at a new school, Immaculate
\nConception, in Dardenne Prairie, where she was on the volleyball
\nteam. She had attended Fort Zumwalt public schools before that. <\/p>\n
Amid all these positives, Tina says, her daughter decided to end a
\nfriendship with a girlfriend who lived down the street from them. The
\ngirls had spent much of seventh grade alternating between being
\nfriends and, the next day, not being friends, Tina says. <\/p>\n
Part of the reason for Megan’s rosy outlook was Josh, Tina says.
\nAfter school, Megan would rush to the computer. <\/p>\n
“Megan had a lifelong struggle with weight and self-esteem,” Tina
\nsays. “And now she finally had a boy who she thought really thought
\nshe was pretty.” <\/p>\n
It did seem odd, Tina says, that Josh never asked for Megan’s phone
\nnumber. And when Megan asked for his, she says, Josh said he didn’t
\nhave a cell and his mother did not yet have a landline. <\/p>\n
And then on Sunday, Oct. 15, 2006, Megan received a puzzling and
\ndisturbing message from Josh. Tina recalls that it said: “I don’t
\nknow if I want to be friends with you anymore because I’ve heard that
\nyou are not very nice to your friends.” <\/p>\n
Frantic, Megan shot back: “What are you talking about?” <\/p>\n
SHADOWY CYBERSPACE <\/p>\n
Tina Meier was wary of the cyber-world of MySpace and its 70 million
\nusers. People are not always who they say they are. <\/p>\n
Tina knew firsthand. Megan and the girl down the block, the former
\nfriend, once had created a fake MySpace account, using the photo of a
\ngood-looking girl as a way to talk to boys online, Tina says. When
\nTina found out, she ended Megan’s access. <\/p>\n
MySpace has rules. A lot of them. There are nine pages of terms and
\nconditions. The long list of prohibited content includes sexual
\nmaterial. And users must be at least 14. <\/p>\n
“Are you joking?” Tina asks. “There are fifth-grade girls who have
\nMySpace accounts.” <\/p>\n
As for sexual content, Tina says, most parents have no clue how much
\nthere is. And Megan wasn’t 14 when she opened her account. To join,
\nyou are asked your age but there is no check. The accounts are free. <\/p>\n
As Megan’s 14th birthday approached, she pleaded for her mom to give
\nher another chance on MySpace, and Tina relented. <\/p>\n
She told Megan she would be all over this account, monitoring it.
\nMegan didn’t always make good choices because of her ADD, Tina says.
\nAnd this time, Megan’s page would be set to private and only Mom and
\nDad would have the password. <\/p>\n
‘GOD-AWFUL FEELING’ <\/p>\n
Monday, Oct. 16, 2006, was a rainy, bleak day. At school, Megan had
\nhanded out invitations to her upcoming birthday party and when she
\ngot home she asked her mother to log on to MySpace to see if Josh had
\nresponded. <\/p>\n
Why did he suddenly think she was mean? Who had he been talking to? <\/p>\n
Tina signed on. But she was in a hurry. She had to take her younger
\ndaughter, Allison, to the orthodontist. <\/p>\n
Before Tina could get out the door it was clear Megan was upset. Josh
\nstill was sending troubling messages. And he apparently had shared
\nsome of Megan’s messages with others. <\/p>\n
Tina recalled telling Megan to sign off. <\/p>\n
“I will Mom,” Megan said. “Let me finish up.” <\/p>\n
Tina was pressed for time. She had to go. But once at the
\northodontist’s office she called Megan: Did you sign off? <\/p>\n
“No, Mom. They are all being so mean to me.” <\/p>\n
“You are not listening to me, Megan! Sign off, now!” <\/p>\n
Fifteen minutes later, Megan called her mother. By now Megan was in
\ntears. <\/p>\n
“They are posting bulletins about me.” A bulletin is like a survey.
\n“Megan Meier is a slut. Megan Meier is fat.” <\/p>\n
Megan was sobbing hysterically. Tina was furious that she had not
\nsigned off. <\/p>\n
Once Tina returned home she rushed into the basement where the
\ncomputer was. Tina was shocked at the vulgar language her daughter
\nwas firing back at people. <\/p>\n
“I am so aggravated at you for doing this!” she told Megan. <\/p>\n
Megan ran from the computer and left, but not without first telling
\nTina, “You’re supposed to be my mom! You’re supposed to be on my
\nside!” <\/p>\n
On the stairway leading to her second-story bedroom, Megan ran into
\nher father, Ron. <\/p>\n
“I grabbed her as she tried to go by,” Ron says. “She told me that
\nsome kids were saying horrible stuff about her and she didn’t
\nunderstand why. I told her it’s OK. I told her that they obviously
\ndon’t know her. And that it would be fine.” <\/p>\n
Megan went to her room and Ron went downstairs to the kitchen, where
\nhe and Tina talked about what had happened, the MySpace account, and
\nmade dinner. <\/p>\n
Twenty minutes later, Tina suddenly froze in mid-sentence. <\/p>\n
“I had this God-awful feeling and I ran up into her room and she had
\nhung herself in the closet.” <\/p>\n
Megan Taylor Meier died the next day, three weeks before her 14th
\nbirthday. <\/p>\n
Later that day, Ron opened his daughter’s MySpace account and viewed
\nwhat he believes to be the final message Megan saw – one the FBI
\nwould be unable to retrieve from the hard drive. <\/p>\n
It was from Josh and, according to Ron’s best recollection, it said,
\n“Everybody in O’Fallon knows how you are. You are a bad person and
\neverybody hates you. Have a shitty rest of your life. The world would
\nbe a better place without you.” <\/p>\n
BEYOND GRIEF INTO FURY <\/p>\n
Tina and Ron saw a grief counselor. Tina went to a couple of Parents
\nAfter Loss of Suicide meetings, as well. <\/p>\n
They tried to message Josh Evans, to let him know the deadly power of
\nmean words. But his MySpace account had been deleted. <\/p>\n
The day after Megan’s death, they went down the street to comfort the
\nfamily of the girl who had once been Megan’s friend. They let the girl
\nand her family know that although she and Megan had their ups and
\ndown, Megan valued her friendship. <\/p>\n
They also attended the girl’s birthday party, although Ron had to
\nleave when it came time to sing “Happy Birthday.” The Meiers went to
\nthe father’s 50th birthday celebration. In addition, the Meiers
\nstored a foosball table, a Christmas gift, for that family. <\/p>\n
Six weeks after Megan died, on a Saturday morning, a neighbor down
\nthe street, a different neighbor, one they didn’t know well, called
\nand insisted that they meet that morning at a counselor’s office in
\nnorthern O’Fallon. <\/p>\n
The woman would not provide details. Ron and Tina went. Their grief
\ncounselor was there. As well as a counselor from Fort Zumwalt West
\nMiddle School. <\/p>\n
The neighbor from down the street, a single mom with a daughter the
\nsame age as Megan, informed the Meiers that Josh Evans never existed.<\/p>\n
She told the Meiers that Josh Evans was created by adults, a family
\non their block. These adults, she told the Meiers, were the parents
\nof Megan’s former girlfriend, the one with whom she had a falling
\nout. These were the people who’d asked the Meiers to store their
\nfoosball table. <\/p>\n
The single mother, for this story, requested that her name not be
\nused. She said her daughter, who had carpooled with the family that
\nwas involved in creating the phony MySpace account, had the password
\nto the Josh Evans account and had sent one message – the one Megan
\nreceived (and later retrieved off the hard drive) the night before
\nshe took her life. <\/p>\n
“She had been encouraged to join in the joke,” the single mother
\nsaid. <\/p>\n
The single mother said her daughter feels the guilt of not saying
\nsomething sooner and for writing that message. Her daughter didn’t
\nspeak out sooner because she’d known the other family for years and
\nthought that what they were doing must be OK because, after all, they
\nwere trusted adults. <\/p>\n
On the night the ambulance came for Megan, the single mother said,
\nbefore it left the Meiers’ house her daughter received a call. It was
\nthe woman behind the creation of the Josh Evans account. She had
\ncalled to tell the girl that something had happened to Megan and
\nadvised the girl not to mention the MySpace account. <\/p>\n
AX AND SLEDGEHAMMER <\/p>\n
The Meiers went home and tore into the foosball table. <\/p>\n
Tina used an ax and Ron a sledgehammer. They put the pieces in Ron’s
\npickup and dumped them in their neighbor’s driveway. Tina spray
\npainted “Merry Christmas” on the box. <\/p>\n
According to Tina, Megan had gone on vacations with this family. They
\nknew how she struggled with depression, that she took medication. <\/p>\n
“I know that they did not physically come up to our house and tie a
\nbelt around her neck,” Tina says. “But when adults are involved and
\ncontinue to screw with a 13-year-old – with or without mental
\nproblems – it is absolutely vile. <\/p>\n
“She wanted to get Megan to feel like she was liked by a boy and let
\neveryone know this was a false MySpace and have everyone laugh at
\nher. <\/p>\n
“I don’t feel their intentions were for her to kill herself. But
\nthat’s how it ended.” <\/p>\n
‘GAINING MEGAN’S CONFIDENCE’ <\/p>\n
That same day, the family down the street tried to talk to the
\nMeiers. Ron asked friends to convince them to leave before he
\nphysically harmed them. <\/p>\n
In a letter dated Nov. 30, 2006, the family tells Ron and Tina, “We
\nare sorry for the extreme pain you are going through and can only
\nimagine how difficult it must be. We have every compassion for you
\nand your family.” <\/p>\n
The Suburban Journals have decided not to name the family out of
\nconsideration for their teenage daughter. <\/p>\n
The mother declined comment. <\/p>\n
“I have been advised not to give out any information and I apologize
\nfor that,” she says. “I would love to sit here and talk to you about
\nit but I can’t.” <\/p>\n
She was informed that without her direct comment the newspaper would
\nrely heavily on the police report she filed with the St. Charles
\nCounty Sheriff’s Department regarding the destroyed foosball table. <\/p>\n
“I will tell you that the police report is totally wrong,” the mother
\nsaid. “We have worked on getting that changed. I would just be very
\ncareful about what you write.” <\/p>\n
Lt. Craig McGuire, spokesman for the sheriff’s department, said he is
\nunaware of anyone contacting the department to alter the report. <\/p>\n
“We stand behind the report as written,” McGuire says. “There was no
\nsupplement to it. What is in the report is what we believe she told
\nus.” <\/p>\n
The police report – without using the mother’s name – states: <\/p>\n
“(She) stated in the months leading up Meier’s daughter’s suicide,
\nshe instigated and monitored a ‘my space’ account which was created
\nfor the sole purpose of communicating with Meier’s daughter. <\/p>\n
“(She) said she, with the help of temporary employee named ——
\nconstructed a profile of ‘good looking’ male on ‘my space’ in order
\nto ‘find out what Megan (Meier’s daughter) was saying on-line’ about
\nher daughter. (She) explained the communication between the fake male
\nprofile and Megan was aimed at gaining Megan’s confidence and finding
\nout what Megan felt about her daughter and other people. <\/p>\n
“(She) stated she, her daughter and (the temporary employee) all
\ntyped, read and monitored the communication between the fake male
\nprofile and Megan &.. <\/p>\n
“According to (her) ‘somehow’ other ‘my space’ users were able to
\naccess the fake male profile and Megan found out she had been duped.
\n(She) stated she knew ‘arguments’ had broken out between Megan and
\nothers on ‘my space.’ (She) felt this incident contributed to Megan’s
\nsuicide, but she did not feel ‘as guilty’ because at the funeral she
\nfound out ‘Megan had tried to commit suicide before.'” <\/p>\n
Tina says her daughter died thinking Josh was real and that she never
\nbefore attempted suicide. <\/p>\n
“She was the happiest she had ever been in her life,” Ron says. <\/p>\n
After years of wearing braces, Megan was scheduled to have them
\nremoved the day she died. And she was looking forward to her birthday
\nparty. <\/p>\n
“She and her mom went shopping and bought a new dress,” Ron says.
\n“She wanted to make this grand entrance with me carrying her down the
\nstairs. I never got to see her in that dress until the funeral.” <\/p>\n
NO CRIMINAL CHARGES <\/p>\n
It does not appear that there will be criminal charges filed in
\nconnection with Megan’s death. <\/p>\n
“We did not have a charge to fit it,” McGuire says. “I don’t know
\nthat anybody can sit down and say, ‘This is why this young girl took
\nher life.'” <\/p>\n
The Meiers say the matter also was investigated by the FBI, which
\nanalyzed the family computer and conducted interviews. Ron said a
\nstumbling block is that the FBI was unable to retrieve the electronic
\nmessages from Megan’s final day, including that final message that
\nonly Ron saw. <\/p>\n
The Meiers do not plan to file a civil lawsuit. Here’s what they
\nwant: They want the law changed, state or federal, so that what
\nhappened to Megan – at the hands of an adult – is a crime. <\/p>\n
THE AFTERMATH IS PAIN <\/p>\n
The Meiers are divorcing. Ron says Tina was as vigilant as a parent
\ncould be in monitoring Megan on MySpace. Yet she blames herself. <\/p>\n
“I have this awful, horrible guilt and this I can never change,” she
\nsaid. “Ever.” <\/p>\n
Ron struggles daily with the loss of a daughter who, no matter how
\nlow she felt, tried to make others laugh and feel a little bit
\nbetter. <\/p>\n
He has difficulty maintaining focus and has kept his job as a tool
\nand die maker through the grace and understanding of his employer, he
\nsays. His emotions remain jagged, on edge. <\/p>\n
Christine Buckles lives in the same Waterford Crossing subdivision.
\nIn her view, everyone in the subdivision knows of Megan’s death, but
\nfew know of the other family’s involvement. <\/p>\n
Tina says she and Ron have dissuaded angry friends and family members
\nfrom vandalizing the other home for one, and only one, reason. <\/p>\n
“The police will think we did it,” Tina says. <\/p>\n
Ron faces a misdemeanor charge of property damage. He is accused of
\ndriving his truck across the lawn of the family down the street,
\ndoing $1,000 in damage, in March. A security camera the neighbors
\ninstalled on their home allegedly caught him. <\/p>\n
It was Tina, a real estate agent, who helped the other family
\npurchase their home on the same block 2\u00bd years ago. <\/p>\n
“I just wish they would go away, move,” Ron says. <\/p>\n
Vicki Dunn, Tina’s aunt, last month placed signs in and near the
\nneighborhood on the anniversary of Megan’s death. <\/p>\n
They read: “Justice for Megan Meier,” “Call the St. Charles County
\nProsecuting Attorney,” and “MySpace Impersonator in Your
\nNeighborhood.” <\/p>\n
On the window outside Megan’s room is an ornamental angel that Ron
\nturns on almost every night. Inside are pictures of boys, posters of
\nUsher, Beyonce and on the dresser a tube of instant bronzer. <\/p>\n
“She was all about getting a tan,” Ron says. <\/p>\n
He has placed the doors back on the closet. Megan had them off. <\/p>\n
If only she had waited, talked to someone, or just made it to dinner,
\nthen through the evening, and then on to the beginning of a new day in
\nwhat could have been a remarkable life. <\/p>\n
If she had, he says, there is no doubt she would have chosen to live.
\nInstead, there is so much pain. <\/p>\n
“She never would have wanted to see her parents divorce,” Ron says. <\/p>\n
Ultimately, it was Megan’s choice to do what she did, he says. “But
\nit was like someone handed her a loaded gun.” <\/p>\n
Link:
\nhttp:\/\/stcharlesjournal.stltoday.com\/news\/sj2tn20071110-1111stc_pokin_1.ii1.txt<\/p>\n
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POKIN AROUND: A real person, a real death Roy Sykes photos Tina and Ron Meier look up at the mausoleum gravesite of their daughter Megan, who would have been 15 on November 6th. By Steve Pokin November 13, 2007 St.…<\/p>\n